


iconolatry for non-believers

by eraserheadbaby



Category: Tales of Series, Tales of Vesperia
Genre: F/M, Introspection, Missing Scene, idealization like whoa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:48:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24394522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eraserheadbaby/pseuds/eraserheadbaby
Summary: He just wants something to believe in. He's just weak. Is that so wrong?
Relationships: Estellise Sidos Heurassein/Flynn Scifo
Comments: 8
Kudos: 9





	iconolatry for non-believers

**Author's Note:**

> a missing scene set after the blastia goes berserk in heliord and rita and estelle are hurt

She tries to tell him to not care about her, to let her go help Rita, go see if the townspeople are hurt, even with the little strength she has, and his heart bleeds.

The hotel suite is just a staircase away, but for Flynn, it's a long walk; as he holds Estellise in his arms, he counts her pained grimaces, her labored breaths, the stains and slits on her white clothes. There's many more than there should be, and much more than he can bear.

If he didn't have this dainty shaking body in his arms, he would probably think this is all a dream, a nightmare, because everything looks uncannily deformed somehow, because she was never meant to shred this snowy dress, to mutilate this fair skin.

But it is human to get dirty, to bleed, isn't it? Flynn sees the hateful dross of his humanity on his own body every day. That's merely life paying its dues to him – but Estellise is kind, so kind, so kind it truly hurts like a sword straight to the heart.

She isn't human, not human in the way he, all this ugly world is. When she hurts, when she bleeds, it's not nature taking its course, it's nature self-destructing, unfairly desecrating one of its treasures.

And yet she always grinds her teeth and moves along, onto the next place her heart indicated, the next scars it would leave her. And all he can do is hold her just a bit tighter, hopefully enough to keep the scattered pieces of his holy effigy stitched together.

Finally, the door. 

As he needs to grab the handle, Flynn presses Estellise tighter to his chest for balance. She lets out an exhale that seems to have been wrested right out of her rib cage. His fists clench on the back of her dress, and the scratch of his nails against the fabric is swallowed by the rasp of the opening door.

Once in the room, he immediately lets her down on the bed, even though there's a nudging itch in his arms, the itch of yearning for a sensation that was there just seconds before. For a moment he expects her to sit up again, but tiredness and pain finally get the better of her and her eyes close. He sighs in relief – it's surprising how stubborn she can be.

Or so he pretends. Because she was no different in the castle, helping people left and right, chastising anyone mistreating their inferiors, all things damned. But Flynn never saw it as stubbornness, it was always a ray of light in his darkest days in the castle; his one compensation for nodding along to orders and insults all the time, the one sign that what he was doing was worth it after all.

Now, that Estellise shows that very same face where he can't see it, it's like there's an overlong dark gorge bearing down on him behind his back. Out of the palace, Estellise would finally understand how rare her kindness is, how much cruel history she carries through the blue blood in her veins, just how ugly this world truly is.

What will happen then? Will those doe eyes finally cloud over and dampen with tears? Will that ever smiling mouth finally scream in despair? Will she fall down on herself, or will she let herself become what she – what he – hates?

And it would be nothing at all, just another aristocrat lost in the sea of corruption and injustice. And he has sworn that he will turn the tide of this sea, for the sake of people everywhere, for the sake of the world he has dreamed of ever since he was a scrawny, unwashed, starved kid. But if Estellise is what he has to fight against, then- 

That's not what he wants for her. That's not what he wants for himself.

He just wants something to believe in. He's just weak. Is that so wrong?

No amount of thinking will answer that for sure. Still he knows he's on the wrong path ever since he added himself to the equation – it doesn't matter what he wants, because it never should. Because what Estellise wants will always be more important.

Just before he leaves, he looks right at her face, wishing that these eyes won't open anytime soon, even though he knows it's futile; she will be wide awake by the time he's closed the door.

**Author's Note:**

> inside you there are two wolves. one selflessly cares abt estelle and respects her wishes. the other is an overprotective freak. you are flynn


End file.
